I’m back, peoples! I’ve successfully overviewed too many film submissions and I’m back amongst the land of the living. Did things happen while I was gone? Yes, of course. Things always happen. But here’s where I see my talents laying:

When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Parts
Spike Lee
Um, I could only watch the first part and even that was hard because I have diagnosed myself as still having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from September 11th (this is true, I still cry–don’t make fun). However, Spike is a genius because he’s been able to come out of his usual of late out of touch rhetoric (this is a link, you can click it) and do a film about a country falling apart from neglect and sadness. Like when a dog doesn’t know it has a terminally ill disease. I like dogs so don’t think I’m being mean when I call our country “ a dog.” I own and love my dog. But recently she had some issues with her leg and she had no idea that it wasn’t good. Her tail was still wagging.

Here’s the larger deal, coming from a black woman: where does Condi Rice come from? I expect George Bush to not get off out of AirForce One and survey the lay of the land from the sky. How often did plantation owners go check out the shacks the slaves lived in? See? But Condi? Even house negroes had to go out to the shacks sometime. Condi went to Ferragamo. And got screamed on by another white woman for her lack of action! People are drowning and dying, people of races, and she goes shopping? And to see Spamalot (that’s a link, you can click it)? You must take this as a sign that there is a group of people who have sprung up from not your usual stereotype. This is evidenced by a black woman who feels very comfortable in who she is, so comfortable that she doesn’t have to do anything that she’s supposed to do (supposed as in being “black”, being a “woman”, being a “government official” ). Somebody told her to come out days later and let us know what her geographical make up entails. She had to tell us she was from Mississippi. I’m kind of glad she did. Because I literally forgot.

Everyone talks about how hyper intelligent she is however, we’ve had yet to see it in action. Every time she gets into trouble, she sounds very academic about nothing in particular that anyone can grasp. And is anyone else noticing that she has desexualized herself in order to be where she is? What species is she? Obviously she’s a zoo animal. You might think zoo animals as this group of species that are wild, untamed, have sex and watch people but no…a zoo is just a place where caged animals are placed for exhibition…or a place of utter confusion. So you see, she IS a zoo animal. We HAVE to watch her. She is displaying characteristics that are foreign to your average Joe (or Jane) and their sense of normalcy! Since she’s probably not breeding, she will be a rare animal…perhaps she’s got some protégés somewhere but they will never be as rare as Condi.

Here’s my ideal setting: years from now, we find some out of wedlock baby from the loins of Condi and George Jr…and that kid is like a liberal feminist nationalist with issues. A beige Gloria Steinem. A yellow Marcus Garvey. A dark skinned John Brown.

Then we will know that all wasn’t for naught.

Oh, this is for Kam because she said I had to. That’s all.

The Notorious F.A.T. - thingsB doneB changedB

My homeboy (married to my homegirl, Jamyla who makes bomb ass bodily lovelies at www.oyinhandmade.com) Pierre has just edited the only amazing piece. You got it here first:

Okay, I’m almost done screening. And I’ll be back. And you’ll stop hating me. Or you’ll start. Whatever. In the meantime.