I frequently get a heavy heart when I read the news. More so than I did when I grew up in Detroit and read about Malice Green or the Atlanta Child Murders or even reading about American History. I used to look at pictures of lynchings and water hosing and the Holocaust and Japanese camps and think how hard it must have been back then. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized, we are back then.

We have a black president who stepped into poo for a job. Some may agree or disagree with how things are being done there but I have yet to find any of the alternative rational solutions to be plausible or even without partisan motive. It’s as if the alternative to the president is to be angry, mean, disrespectful or unrealistic. I will never forget, during the President Bush years, I had a mini-conversation with a co-worker who was Republican. She was older and she stopped our conversation from getting any where near politics. She said, “I was taught to not criticize the President, to not talk religion or politics when cocktails are involved.” While my actions are so far from that, I could respect what she was saying. It seems that respect is gone now. Even Clinton with the girls and the scandals garnered more respect than the man trying to do the best he can in office now. I only know what it’s like to be American, to be a woman and to be black. I can empathize with other scenarios but I don’t know them intimately so I can imagine the fear that rests on others’ chest at night as they watch the world change from something familiar to something that they cannot control. Yet this world was never ours to control in the first place. We are only here to get to know ourselves so that we may grow, try to end our lives some place further than where we begin, appreciate our moments, and institute some kind of order that is fair and balanced to all. Beyond that, we get into scary territory.
Yesterday I was saying to the BF that the conservative white people who are afraid of how this country is turning out must not remember that this country has always been about cheap labor. That’s how black people got here, that’s how Native Americans almost became extinct, that’s how Latinos are still here en mass though this “here” was their “here” first like the Native Americans, that’s how most every immigrant has gotten here and stayed here. What did you think would happen? They would pick cotton, tobacco, fruit, vegetables, clean houses, water lawns, build houses and then leave? You called in specialists and paid them nothing. Of course this country is becoming more colorful. You asked for help and you got contributors. You thought you got free or cheap labor to build your Shanghri-La. Surprise. Nothing belongs to anyone. You fight for existence, not your right to be a bigot, prejudiced or racist.
I got a petition in my inbox to sign something to prevent a mosque being built near Ground Zero. I am baffled. I don’t understand why we wouldn’t have all places of worship near such a tragic site. I can’t believe that there are religious people sending this petition around. There were muslims in the towers, alongside other religious/nonreligious folk, that had nothing to do with the terrorists. There were Muslim nurses and cops who were trying to help people. Just as there were Muslims, there were Christians, Jews, Hindis, Atheists and Spirtualists. I am unable to understand how we are not able to make the separation of religion from terrorists. Just because a murderer says he does something in the name of God does not mean we have to accept that. We can reject it. We can tell them that they are murderers no matter what their reason. This is what happens in the courtrooms. Why can’t it happen in our minds? When Timothy McVey bombed children, did we care why he did it? Did we look at young white men funnier after that? Were they held in a different light? When Columbine happened, did we outlaw bullying or get scared when we saw kids walking down the street? There are so many instances where we have chosen different paths of reaction whether because of emotion or convenience but we must know that every choice has consequences.
It is very difficult to watch people’s prejudices and anger come out all at once. I am sure my irrational mind would love it if I acted a fool over the Detroit shooting of Aiyana Jones but my rational mind definitely paid attention to what Al Sharpton said about it not just being a police issue but a community issue. Maybe it is maturity or getting further along in age but what I strive for most is compassion and the struggle for peace. Suddenly I really feel like if people aren’t doing all they can for that then they must look internally for the problems they place at the feet of others. My old math teacher, Mr. Cole, used to ask us to ask ourselves this question before we did anything: “Is it kind and is it necessary?” At the time we thought it was corny but now I realize he was asking us to create a thought prior to action. To examine our motivations to the fullest prior to presenting our ideas out to the world. To pray for the death of anyone, including a president (like the ever growing Facebook groups) seems to so anti-human that I feel bad for the karma it will create to those who think it necessary.
This is a soapbox rant and I’m not sure how many agree and I’m not even sure if that matters. I just wanted to lament my heavy heart at watching the world grow. Puberty sucks. I can’t wait until we get to be fine adults.