This is when I do miss New York terribly. from overheardinnewyork.com:
Hobo, standing too close: Don’t worry, pretty girl, you ain’t got nothing to be scared of. I won’t hurt you.
Pretty girl: Oh, I’m not. (smiles) But you should be terrified, ’cause I’ll fuck you up.
Overheard by: Lucy Lurks
If Shroomers Wrote Soap Operas
Standing dude: Yo, why are you staring at me?
Seated girl: Oh. Never mind. From the side, you looked like this dude I went to boarding school with. But you’re not. I think he’s on mushrooms.
Standing dude: I was on shrooms yesterday…
Seated girl: Scott?
Standing dude: Julia?
Seated girl: Shit!
Female shopper to Bloomingdale’s cologne sprayer: Don’t you dare spray your $30 over my $150.
–Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale’s
Old lady on cell: I mean, it’s just five million…
–Madison & 77th St
Very rich mom to new nanny, about baby in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and…
–Upper East Side
Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, “we’re in a recession, let’s go to Dolce.”
Overheard by: I want a m6
Label-whore eating grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am.
Wednesdays Are Profoundly One-Linered
Yankees fan to Mets friends: When we go to the Yankees stadium I’ll be like a retard at a Chuck E. Cheese.
Overheard by: Danial
Police officer in van, on loudspeaker: Move to the right! (people in cars ignore the order) Retards! You heard me! Move to the right!
–27th St & 10th Ave
Crazy guy, ranting: You can’t have sex with people who aren’t retarded because they charge too damn much!
Overheard by: Ryan P.
Guy to girl: I never said that I wasn’t retarded. Technically, I’m not a hypocrite.
Overheard by: Julia
Heavily made-up girl: Do you think retarded people are, like, conceptually aware that they’re retarded?
Overheard by: You tell me
Girl: The idea of a retarded Jack Russell Terrier is completely foreign to me, because as I recall, Wishbone was exceptionally well-read.
That’s the Last Time I Buy an Invisibility Cloak at Forever 21
Man, almost bumping into hobo: Oh, excuse me.
Hobo: What!? You can see me!?
Hobo: Fuck! My invisibility wore off!
–120th & AmsterdamTweet
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