This is when I do miss New York terribly. from overheardinnewyork.com:
Hobo, standing too close: Don’t worry, pretty girl, you ain’t got nothing to be scared of. I won’t hurt you.
Pretty girl: Oh, I’m not. (smiles) But you should be terrified, ’cause I’ll fuck you up.
–14th St
Overheard by: Lucy Lurks
If Shroomers Wrote Soap Operas
Standing dude: Yo, why are you staring at me?
Seated girl: Oh. Never mind. From the side, you looked like this dude I went to boarding school with. But you’re not. I think he’s on mushrooms.
Standing dude: I was on shrooms yesterday…
Seated girl: Scott?
Standing dude: Julia?
Seated girl: Shit!
–L Train
Wednesday One-Liners Are So Nouveau Riche
Female shopper to Bloomingdale’s cologne sprayer: Don’t you dare spray your $30 over my $150.
–Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale’s
Old lady on cell: I mean, it’s just five million…
–Madison & 77th St
Very rich mom to new nanny, about baby in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and…
–Upper East Side
Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, “we’re in a recession, let’s go to Dolce.”
–42nd St
Overheard by: I want a m6
Label-whore eating grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am.
–Paul’s Cafe
Wednesdays Are Profoundly One-Linered
Yankees fan to Mets friends: When we go to the Yankees stadium I’ll be like a retard at a Chuck E. Cheese.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Danial
Police officer in van, on loudspeaker: Move to the right! (people in cars ignore the order) Retards! You heard me! Move to the right!
–27th St & 10th Ave
Crazy guy, ranting: You can’t have sex with people who aren’t retarded because they charge too damn much!
–V Train
Overheard by: Ryan P.
Guy to girl: I never said that I wasn’t retarded. Technically, I’m not a hypocrite.
–L Train
Overheard by: Julia
Heavily made-up girl: Do you think retarded people are, like, conceptually aware that they’re retarded?
–6 Train
Overheard by: You tell me
Girl: The idea of a retarded Jack Russell Terrier is completely foreign to me, because as I recall, Wishbone was exceptionally well-read.
–Columbia University
That’s the Last Time I Buy an Invisibility Cloak at Forever 21
Man, almost bumping into hobo: Oh, excuse me.
Hobo: What!? You can see me!?
Man: Yes.
Hobo: Fuck! My invisibility wore off!
–120th & Amsterdam
What looked like a big victory for Arlen and maybe for Dems might be turning into a botched hijaking. Sort of like those Somli kids trying to jack the French military boat earlier, full speed like Mario Andretti or something.
From The Daily Beast today:
This isn’t a good way for Arlen Specter to win over his new friends: “He voted against the Democrats in his first two big votes since the switch, opposing the Democratic budget and helping defeat a measure to allow bankruptcy judges to modify mortgages for troubled homeowners. And on Tuesday night, he retracted a statement, made in an interview, in which he said the Minnesota courts should rule in favor of the Republican, Norm Coleman, in the state’s disputed Senate race.” Behind the scenes, Specter is scrambling to find money to save the jobs of several aides after he lost the payroll authority that came with his committee and subcommittee chairmanships when Democrats stripped him of seniority. Tired, perhaps, of the scrutiny, Specter canceled an appearance with Larry King on Wednesday night.
Maybe he should just sit and chill in a park with a chessboard and a possible comeback once he’s gotten his shit together…like a certain X-Man we all know.