Like most people who pretend not to like gossip, I have a few sites that I check more than my bank balance. Dlisted.com, crunktastical.blogspot.com, bossip.com, people.com and of course perezhilton.com. My bank gets more clicks than Sandrarose.com but that’s okay though because her site doesn’t go too long without seeing me on the regular.
Everyone is talking about the break up of Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds. Lots of speculation is circulating on Eddie’s possible DL status, Tracey’s refusal to be bitched out by him in public, Eddie’s demands that Tracey come to the breakfast table DRESSED (out of all of those things, this would be the ONE impossible feat for me if I was interviewing for that gig. My dad’s coffee maker is the only thing that can get one of my eye’s open in the morning and that’s only if that machine is brewing! I wonder if Eddie comes to the breakfast table DRESSED and made up….). I have no idea if any of this is true. I don’t even know if Johnny Gill really lives in his house like “Charles in Charge.”
There’s only one thing I know for sure.
We will never hear the real story. Or even the funny kinda real story. You see, I think we forget that Eddie used to be a stand up comedian. In fact, his stories of “goonie goo goo” and “mama burgers” may have melted into his attempts towards being like Bill Cosby in “Leonard Part 6″ (eeek! talk about punishing kids for buying sneakers…put that bad boy in the DVD player and everybody will go run and do homework instead)save for a few funny exceptions like “Boomerang” and “Bowfinger”. At least we knew when Richard Pryor set himself on fire, he was about to hit the road and tell his story way better than “Entertainment Tonight” ever could. That sure doesn’t happen now.
This leaves me with a burning (well, simmering) question: why is Eddie running from stand up?
I heard it’s a very hard thing. It even made Kramer dude turn into a crazy racist rambling idiot who had possibly sipped a Jonestown kool-aid cocktail prior to hitting the stage. And you do have Chapelle and Dane Cook doing desperate marathons like Jane Fonda in “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” I mean who wants to laugh for twelve hours straight unless there’s a larger problem we’re trying to avoid (and no, that problem is NOT the “Cloverfield” monster or Unfitney and Pap Lover)?
I for one miss the days of sneaking up to the attic and listening to Richard Pryor, Moms Mabley and Redd Foxx records, while my cousin Renee sat guard (she didn’t speak full sentences yet anyway). We have nothing really to replace that. Nobody gets dressed up to go hear anybody do comedy like they used to when Richard hit the stage. Eddie gave us hope and we even applauded his red leather suit while he did it. What happened?
With the rise of his movie career that seemed terribly suspect some how in his desperation to give Sly Stallone a run for his testasterone money, he broke up with stand up. I could care less about Tracey “Babyface Barbie” Edmonds because she’s totally going to be alright. I don’t really foresee any burning mansions or vindictive films about a suspect actor/comedian with a strep throat laugh coming to the screen anytime soon. It is Eddie I worry about. Once a man invents “Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood” and does a whole event around who shot Buckwheat, I am concerned when his biggest funniest feat is trying to convince us that he is actually okay with this sloppy show of a marriage bust up. I was more convinced with him being the white guy on SNL.
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