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here i am, standing in my own bgirl stance…

deep and shallow thoughts from various areas in my brain - t.tara turk

Daughters who go home…

November 07th, 2007

Jessica Care Moore is my friend and she kills it. If there is a poem to be written that will make you nod your head until the last period (if she uses them), then she is the one. She has, once again, written something that will attach itself to me for the rest of my life. This is about us Detroit Daughters…Daddies in the stratosphere trying to help us while not being on the physical plane…all daddies including Yale.

Posted for the first time, here is (hold your soul close while you read; this is a stealer):

Smoke
by jessica Care moore
In honor of returning home
after 12 years in the desert

When I smoked a clove
For the first time
It was for the taste it left behind
on my lips

If I was gonna smoke anything
It had to be sexy
It had to serve a purpose

I have the same approach to writing poetry
and loving the men I’ve loved

Just leave me something good on my mouth
A nice word behind my ear
Something i can bite down on and remember

Years later.

I’ve decided.

When I grow up.

I’m going to drink wine.
I’m going to have a mysterious wine cellar
I’m going to know the origin of every grape.
I’m going to grow my own vines
And tell stories to my children through
one long drunk
line.

I’m going to learn to use a corkscrew
I’m going to be a person who takes a
small sip and smells the glass

Today I’m more of a quick tequila shot girl
A graduate from the 80’s Hennessey and Vodka

I really just want something sweet
easy to digest slow
purposeful.

Something that tastes so good
just the thought of it makes me high

When i become my full warrior self

I will be a woman with an unbreakable spirit
dream catchers for arms alligator boots

Poem without curses
Poems never written
in this slave language

I won’t be a pretty girl
who needs to be reminded
she’s pretty.

But we do. don’t. We?

All Detroit girls are good stock
We hit the potholes and keep riding

We born driving

I can feel the sadness of my city
waiting for someone to claim it
in a box marked lost and found
I can drink down this room
and piss out the motown sound

I can eat engines and command an eagle
I am black and Detroit and regal
I am flashy with long cars &
piped out trucks

My walk demands a “what up.”
I am a doe.

In a forest of cows.

I am an 88 benz with heated seats
I am a ford pick up truck
that drives like an escort with
some extra shit in the back.

Never keep the tags on
Cause I don’t do take backs.

This city makes me want all our daddy’s back.

Tom T.D. Moore
Harry Taylor
George Woods
Larry Ray Robinson

ashe’

Little Tom
Angie and Lecca
Charlotte
Tureka

We all daddy’s girls with no daddy
We a city made for caddys
Killing people’s daddys

My coming home is finally not
for a funeral.

I am returning to a place of war
I am returning to a place of love

A wasteland with new lofts downtown
A holy place with schools and no books
abandoned neighborhoods and beauty
beyond belief

We used to cut the grass in the ghetto

It’s deep to be the only one at the after hours bar
Who’s not drinking.

Smoking
crack
heroin

Popping
Ex Pills

Mufflers
Chimneys
Exhaust Pipes

Fire Station Number One
Can you save us from this chemical waste
when the lie of gentrification

goes up in SMOKE.

The new billboard off the lodge xpress/way

detroit rock city
rock and roll niggas
jesus was a muslim

The heart of our city is on fire

When I heard Yale was murdered
Charlotte heard it on WJLB

Yale Murdered here?

In this city that he loved
That he nurtured
That he represented all over the world
That he saved and built lives in.

Something inside me
caught on fire
And I can’t help the
power of what follows

what gives birth
what poems i write
what poison I drink to help
destroy all this devil night heat

what makes the wind blow
that hard when we are closer

to the river.

I trust in Karma
I know the devil wears fake prada

When i came home

(this time)

It was for the taste Detroit left behind

On my lips

there are repercussions for
loving this way
for so many years

I am no longer afraid
Of what comes up

with the Smoke.

to reach Jessica Care Moore, you can email her at detroitbutterfly@gmail.com.

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1 Comment

  1. (thank you Jess for great & beautiful poem
    given me more of detroit than i realized i’d lost.
    hope its not rude to answer with a poem, my way of praisin & thankin)

    add my Daddy to the list
    Leslie Lowen
    chemist
    came to our city
    around 1940
    to help fight the war
    he didn’t have to go Over There
    cause he supported the War Effort over here
    working at US Rubber
    & Wyandotte Chemical
    his inventions anonymous, company property,
    making magic potions
    to seal up the planes
    when the Red Baron
    blasted our boys bombing germans

    magic potions
    bottles in our medicine chest
    that could grow gigantic cabbages

    “Quaternary”
    a big word we
    spoke as children

    kwa - turn - areeee

    you put it on anything to
    heal anything

    after Mama put him out,
    waiting till we were grown,
    & he married this terrible woman
    he worked the swingshift
    germ detective
    at the Detroit Water Company

    driving on black-ice roads
    at 3 AM to check out the billions of gallons
    of water
    rolling thru our city

    7 AM shifts followed by 3 PM shifts
    followed by midnight shifts
    & he was way past 60

    detroit
    the shift city
    overtime city
    payin’ dues city
    overdue dues
    payasyougo city
    never caught up wit yr dues
    city

    daddy came to detroit
    from Seattle
    he was a mountains & pine tree man
    stayed in the city for love
    of a woman & 3 kids
    bought classical vinyl thru mail order
    catalogs
    made us sit & listen at dinner time
    to get “culture”

    my memories buried under
    his wife’s disdain & contempt,
    strugglin to rise & take shape,
    always watching & waitin
    for him to bubble up in
    my imagination
    recollections
    re-collecting
    days & dininertimes,
    breakfasts & winters
    pouring boiling teakettle water
    to melt the carlocks open- winters,
    freeways
    of daddy driving to work
    to rivers
    to warehouses
    to make a livin
    all buried under mama’s disdain &
    contempt
    he never got rich
    a gambler at the american dream
    ended up knee-capped by the americandreammachine
    an irritation to his wife,
    who ended up livin off his social security
    Daddy was all about
    that
    providin for the woman he loved
    and for their children

    peace,
    detroit daughter M&M

    Comment by Anonymous — November 8, 2007 @ 4:47 pm

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