Okay, I grew up in Detroit. I’ve written about. It was golden. Folks in my circle had their first kiss at the Detroit Institute of Arts. Our baby sitter with the main branch of the library. Every Saturday we heard shout outs from 107.5 to all the ladies with the burgundy hair. And hell yes you can pick from a myriad of chain hair salons to get your shit straight twenty four hours a day. What is the problem with that? Some people have insomnia. Shit. Anyways, I have a lot of forgiveness in my heart. Until I see some shit that’s just wrong. Listen, “School Daze” and the “good” and “bad” hair dance was edutainment. Did we not learn from it? We aren’t saying “good” hair and referring to the Carrot Top texture still, are we? I mean Glamour magazine just fired an asshole for telling folks that dreadlocs and fros were a Glamour don’t. Why must I see this?

Let’s dissect from the top.

Chick who posed for this is smiling like somebody is squeezing her Kunte Kente foot.

Club APT needs to stop playing and give them their deposit back in food stamps and war stamps.

Anybody who goes to this party on a serious tip is a HERB.

PYT was five million years ago. Not even Michael Jackson sings that shit and he NEEDS the money! Second, DJ Lish? Saying that aloud makes me want to grab a pack of KOOLS and drink my Champale out of a 7-Eleven Big Gulp cup I saved in my car next to my dissed pennies. Light Skinned Libra Bash??? Do they have to bring their slave papers to prove the light skinnedness? Is there a paper bag at the door? Is bleach creme in the giveaway bag? You’re assholes. We got little black girls out there devastated every time they see a silky hair shampoo commercial and now you want them to turn into those African women up on 125th that bleach their skin but keep some of the facial parts dark cause they can’t reach (you know the kind). Is this 2007?? We rocking skin color too? I missed the memo. I need my 313ers and 248ers to go and pick this shenanigan immediately. If PETA can dump red paint on fur, I challenge y’all to throw dark chocolate on these brainwashed ignorant pageant rejects. Scald them with truffles, y’all!

Thanks for setting our folks back at least forty years. Dumb assess…