So I got all excited to have a blog and then I just totally stopped for a week. Lots of things happened. I have to finish my second novel like four minutes ago. I had to submit a new scene. I had to get over a cold. I had to have some talks with some people. Life intervened. Did I rush to blog about it? No. Maybe the honeymoon is over. But I’m back! That’s the thing about any relationship. If you can come back after the adrenaline is gone, then you’ve probably got something.

My friend Jen said I should write about about advice, which is flattering but totally causes me to shake in my boots. I think this country is obsessed with love and relationships. There are all those wack books about being a bitch or seeing how he’s into you or talking about how many different planets we’re all from. I think all of that stuff is either common sense or bull. Listen, first, you have to be self-realized. Know your own bull. Know your own joys. You aren’t going to have room for anybody unless you come clean with yourself. You may date somebody for a long ass time but nothing permanent will really happen until you get to know yourself. That means knowing when you’re trying to front like you don’t care when you do, knowing that you are falling into your own cycle of trying not get invested, all that. If you say, “He’s probably not going to call” or I’m not going to return his call if he does” or “I’m going to not kiss on the first date if he doens’t pay for dinner” or whatever, know you’re setting yourself up. Life is too short to be that planned out. Know yourself. Then know what you will and will not stand for. I think a relationship, aside from all the roses and cupcakes, is when you know what problems you can and can’t deal with. If you can deal with a man who’s trying to find himself and is sometimes moody (that’s me—I put myself out there, that’s right!) then do that. If you can’t deal with somebody who too mysterious or not open or doesn’t read, then remember, leave then or accept they aren’t for you in the long run. Because people don’t change just because you want them to be a certain way. Get that out of your mind.

The beginning parts of a relationship are usually the most romantic. If he or she is always late meeting you, they’ll probably always be late. Do you care and can you deal with that? Those are the biggest questions. You are responsible for you. Be somebody you’d want to date and stop worrying about making somebody else into somebody you’d want to date. Okay, now I’m boring myself. Soapbox folded up and set aside. But my last words? I am the blog I want to write. I will not make this blog something I want to write. Ha! See?

My novel is about a girl who was connected to the poetry scene in Brooklyn in the early 90s. I have a lot of experience with that. It’s semi-autobiographical. I’m no James Frey (dude, I know he lied but he is getting the shit kicked out of him lately–no agent, maybe no movie, and the Oprah God stepped on him with her Todd loafers on national TV–I think he’s in hell). Some of the stuff didn’t happen to me the way I’m making it happen to this girl. AND (in case some of my Brooklyn friends are reading this) I have combined personalities and situations to carve out new characters. You can ask me later if you inspired one of them. Some of you will know already though. That’s the deal with us artists, man. You’re going to see yourself somehow. I have to say the novel has been theraputic for me. There’s a few relationships I’m writing about that I haven’t had the courage to dive into in a long time. It’s like taking a deep breath. Even if this novel tanks or never makes it to a bookstore, at least it will exist. And if I die and you’re around, it would bring me great joy to know you’d do what you could to get it out there. (This is where you picture me with Godfather cotton in my cheeks while I lay on my death bed). For the family!

Here’s my dope site for the day:

http://www.youtube.com/v/3U3r1-3LHUA

You can’t even imagine what kind of funk that’s going to bring. I got it from Questlove’s blog on Myspace. Isn’t Myspace kind of strange? Like, I’ve seen Quest a few times but I am BY NO MEANS his homegirl. I got some six degrees of separation happening but that’s about it. However, on Myspace, I can read his writing entries on a regular basis. Like we’re kicking it. One hand, that’s cool as shit. Like I’m in the know! On the other hand, that’s some crazy power to give one slightly imbalanced person out there who can feel mad comfortable enough to walk up to Quest or anybody else who has a profile on Myspace and have them act a fool on the familiarity tip.

Holler at me now, in case I get famous and give you shade in the street…tee hee…